The Kingdom of Ouran
by mounkeygirl
Summary: This is just a fun AU where the cast is in a kingdom envornment. I have started a minor plot now! Read and review. My first fanfic.Haruhi:Messanger Hikaru&Koru:Jestures Tama:King Huni&Mori:Kinghts Kyoya:Adviser
1. Revamping The Cast

OURAN KINGDOM Alternative Universe

Yes, Ouran the anime is finished... **Sigh...** So while we pray/wait for the second season I will present a a bunch of Alternative Universes! YAY! Well first I present a kingdom type world.

Disclaimer: Seriously though, do we really need to put this? Look, If I owned the thing I wouldn't put it on "Fanfiction" I would put it on "Legalownerorsomething". But I digress, I don't own Ouran, any of the characters in it, or even a house. All I own is a computer and a cardboard box that I live in oO

Disclaimer of Disclaimer: If I actually do happen to own Ouran please let me know and ignore the first disclaimer. Thank you. (Humor me and just laugh)

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Chapter 1: Revamping the cast

King Tamaki burst dramatically into the throne room "My royal subjects! I, your king, have just made a horrifying discovery!" He posed, with a look of extreme seriousness on his face to enfisize the importance of what he was to say, "As you know, the common folk use this strange substance called "fertilizer" in their gardens to make their food grow magically from the ground!" He changed his pose to one of horror in which he stared at his hands and wiggled his fingers "I, your humble king, have found a man trying to pass off PIG DROPPINGS as this magical substance!" His eyes grew wide and his fingers moved faster, "And he tried to tell me, THE KING, that THAT was fertilizer!" His arm swung up to his face and he fell against a pillar for support, his eyes wide and showing that he had seen horrors this world should not hold. "The rotting, flea-infested, nostril offending-"

"Milord we're trying to eat"

King Tamaki realized, to his horror, that not only were the only people in the room his two jesters, sitting cross-legged on the floor, but also that they had taken to the idea of having a picnic in a not-so-cleanly-fashion all over it.

King Tamaki forget what he was discribing and adapting according to the new situation presented to him. He threw his hands to his head and bent his knees "ARG! WHAT IN THE KINGDOM HAVE YOU TWO DOUPLEGANGERS DONE TO MY THRONE ROOM!"

"We haven't done anything!" The jesters were, in-fact, mirror images who spoke at the same time, and at this exceedingly unfair accusation they they turned to each other and exchanged looks of indignation, each holding a chicken leg in their outward hand.

King Tamaki was pointing at them and yelling, "ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT THIS IS NOTHING! AND WHERE ARE MY GUARDS! I CAN'T BELIVE THEY LEFT YOU TWO RUFFINS IN MY PRECIOUS THROWNROOM UNSUPERVISED!"

As king Tamaki got involved in yet another monolouge, to which his audience was selectively deaf, his royal adviser Kyoya, Who was rumored to be ruling behind the sceans, slipped in and watched from the doorway, jotting down the kings reaction to this particular situation for future reference. After he had finished his closed his book and stepped forward clapping his hands twice, "All right you two, thats enough. The cleaning staff will deal with this in a couple of hours"

The jesters went "Awww... jeezzz..."and tossed their half eaten drumsticks carelessly over their shoulders, to which king Tamaki immediately tried to strangle them, but wound up slipping in pudding and landing on his face instead. He grumbled something about the wrong person getting the "King's respect"

At all the loud crashing noise the two guard at the opposite entrance had come in. Sir Hunny, the strongest knight, despite his cute exterior, took out a little plastic fan and hit each of the two jestures (who were rolling uncontrollably on the floor laughing) smartly (but not hard) on the head. He then preceded to tell them to "Tell the king sorry" or he'd "Never let them hold Bun-Bun/Usa-Chan ever again". The second guard, Sir Mori, picked the king up and set him on his feet, the king himself was spluttering and seemed to be having a great deal of trouble finding words terrible enough to call the twins. (Without swearing of course, Refined kings don't swear)

"You two are getting way out of control!" he finally spluttered, "Yesterday you put a bucket of water over my chamber door, and last week you filled my food with dead insects! You're supposed to me amusing me! Not AMUSING YOURSELVES WITH ME-ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION!"

Sensing that their jobs may be in danger the two turned had to each other about halfway through the Kings rave and held one-another in a dramatic embrace. (It was an easy way to change to topic)

The lower of the two looked shamefully at the ground as his eyes began to water, he tried to push himself weakly away from his brother "I'm so sorry Hikaru... You're being scolded for my selfish little amusements... Because of me we might loose our jobs and be forced too... too sloup pigs!" He looked desperately into the eyes of his twin before turning back away in shame, "In... in order to get enough money to send back to our starving family in the country we landed a job here and might loose it all because of me!"

The higher of the two, Hikaru, pulled the lower towards him and pulled his face up to his so they were staring into each other's eyes, speaking to him in a strong voice, "Don't you ever say anything like that ever again Kauru. We both did those horrible things together and we'll get out of them together. Even if we must do something as degrading as feeding pigs, we will always do it together." By this time King Tamaki was positively bawling at the desperate situation of these two young men and swareing up and down he'd never forsake them.

Kauru's face held both fear and gratitude, "Hikaru..."

"I really don't understand why that ploy saves you every time your about to be sacked"

Hikaru and Kauru brook their gaze in order to look at new-comer, their faces lighted up "Ahh! Haruhi!" They let go of each other and bounded over to the new boy.

Actually this boy was a girl. However in the Kingdom it was forbidden for females to carry certain positions. (Not within Tamaki's power to change) Haruhi had been traveling with her father, applied for the position of messenger, not knowing the law and being mistaken for male, and wound up being the most competent messenger they had ever had. In effect, once her sex had been reveled (Known, coincidentally only be the people in the Throne room at this very moment) King Tamaki had decided it the utmost importance that this be kept in strict confidence. (Haruhi herself had nothing against finding another job). She often doubled as a castle servant, serving tea mostly...

She managed to fend off the twins affection greeting and pulled out a letter written in curly handwriting. She handed this to Tamaki, who was yelling at the twins again. When he realized the bit of parchment under his nose his entire attitude switched to "prince- charming mode." He took the letter tenderly from her hands "Thank you my dear, your loyalty to me reminds me of a daughter, would you mind if I called you my daughter?"

"I think that would blow my cover Senpi"

This sudden insert of common scene through the king for a moment, "I've been meaning to ask you... Why do you call me Senpi?"

Haruhi thought about it for a second and then looked confused. "I have no idea..."


	2. An Unstable Enviroment

Ok, well I'm home sick today so I guess I'll write for a bit. But seriously, please review. My two goals while writing this are to 1)Keep the stories constantly entertaining, and 2)Keep everyone in character. If no-one reviews I might keep up a bad theme or drop a good one. I might pull everyone out of character and not realize it, thinking I'm putting them in character. I might feel that no one reads my story and not write anymore. I might dance the funky chicken. I might do many, many, many, things (progressively becoming less productive) but if you don't review I'm on my own out here. So please, review and save me time soul searching so I can write better chapters. Thank you.

Oh ya, for now I'm going to ignore the letter in chapter one. Just assume it's from Tamaki's dad. He'll occasionally write Tamaki in various methods in order to tease him. Assume it was written in Egyptian symbols and Tamaki was baffled. Ok? Moving on...

One more thing, the disclaimer on the first page of my stories will apply to all chapters within the same story. So that way I'm covered. Yep.

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Chapter 2: Commoner Art? (Alternative Title: Just What Era Are We In Anyway?)

King Tamaki's face was intense. He carefully put a dab of glue on the back of the last piece and pressed it firmly into place. His face glowed with pride as he stepped back and admired his work Perfect. No, wait! That piece there was wrong! No! Don't dry! King Tamaki leapt forward heroically to save it but-

The doors swung open with a crash as the hit their walls and the macaroni canvass fell on top of the poor King. More then half of the assorted 63,257 pieces of macaroni lay on the floor of the recently cleaned (Yet very messy) throne room. Tamaki was in rage, "Hikaru! Kaoru! Knock on the door before entering!" The canvas had broken over his head and held his arms to his sides. There was also Macaroni and glue in his hair and on his outfit.

The twins looked at him blandly, the situation could have been funny but they thought this was a tad to pitiful. "Milord, what are you doing?"

King Tamaki tried to take on an omniscient air, but his inability to move his arms seemed to ruin the effect. He compromised by looking very serious, "I'm researching the commoner art form, MACARONI ART!" He yelled the last two words triumphantly and looked very smug.

"Macaroni art?" The twins cryed in unison.

"You mean the art form the commoners use to save money?" Asked Hikaru leaning forward with on open mouth. (He also had those semicircle eyes the twins often have, but I don't know what to call that)

"The one in which they glue their food to sheets of paper?" Said Kauru imatating his twin.

"Yes! The one and only!" Tamaki, forgetting he was stuck, had stuck his finger up and ripped the canvas. "In my exploits I have seen many a young aspiring commoner artist gluing away and creating an abstract image of their mother, father, or a kangaroo with boxing gloves and an eye patch. Since Haruhi is from this commoner world I decided learning common folk methods of doing things would allow my daughter to adjust better-" Tamaki had finally started to wiggle himself free and was explaining in a distracted manor. He did not see the twins exchange mischievous glances "It would seem that raw, uncooked, centimeter long pieces of pasta work the best in this case. When I tried cooking it, well actually when I tried all the water evaporated out and the noodles were glopped together at the bottom, which made a fine past while it was still hot but apparently is the wrong method, when I had my chef cook it the glue and the noodle goo got all over the place and-Hay, stop that!"

Hikaru and Kaoru were sticking the macaroni to the walls and making all sorts of pictures. There was a jackolope, a centaur, and an obnoxious Tamaki with hand on chin to name a few. The two ran around arm in arm laughing while King Tamaki attempted viscously to free himself from his canvas strait-jacket. To which he only received mad giggles.

Tamaki turned his head and upper torso to the doors shouting, "Guards! Guards! Come in here at once!" The twins froze in their tracks

The door opened oh so slowly and in stepped Sir Hunny. He looked very seriously ticked off and was holding a stuffed rabbit in his left hand. He glared around the room. Thats when Tamaki realized, with a pang of horror, that it was 2:35 in the afternoon. Sir Hunny's nap time. There was something twisted about a four foot tall knight with a stuffed rabbit, an evil pink aura and glowing red eyes that inspired fear in the hearts of man and mouse. When Hunny spoke his tone was abnormally direct and earatated, he leaned right up close to the Kings face and looked down into his eyes, "WHAT?"

The King seemed to have forgotten how to talk and, kneeling on the floor before this creature, unable to either run or cover his face, seemed striped of both his courage and will. He was regretting he hadn't had the chance to put Haruhi in his will. "Mori... help..."

Sir Hunny turned his angry gaze to Sir Mori, who showed no fear (or any emotion at all really) Mori said, "They were playing with macaroni, and thought Usa-Chan would like to see the pictures."

No one moved.

No one breathed.

Honny raised a finger and pointed to the portrait of Tamaki "This one looks like an otter doesn't it Usa-chan!" And he was sugar coated again. Sir Mori removed the frame from Tamaki (who's knees promptly gave way) and went next to Sir Hunny to stare blankly at portraits.

Well, that was a tad different then I meant it to turn out, but at least it managed to reinforce a couple of character traits. Kyoya and Haruhi will definently appear next time. Promise!


	3. Haruhi's Been Kidnapped!

There was a slam and Kyoya looked up annoyed from his papers. The king was leaning against the door panting. Kyoya folded his hands in his lap and waited.  
King Tamaki looked up seriously "Haruhi..." He paused for breath "Haruhi has been kidnapped"  
"Our toy's been stolen!" The twins ran in, in a panic, kicking the king out of the way so they could show a piece of paper to Kyoya.  
Kyoya adjusted his glasses and read aloud, 

"Dear respected Ouran idiots,

We have many a time tolerated your blatant disregard for female supremacy and allowed ourselves to lower our standers so as we may deal with you.  
However; you have now, to put it in words you can understand, "crossed the line". One delicate flower, Haruhi, was delved to our palace with such a subservient task as to deliver a letter requesting "More Macaroni", wearing obscene male clothing no less!  
We have, therefor, taken it upon ourselves to save this madden from your evil clutches, and will keep her safe here until we have successfully obliterated your country.

Sincerely, The Queendom of Laubania"

Kyoya glanced boardly over the letter again, "It would also seem we are at war again with Laubania"  
"Huh?" the three of them looked down at the King, having forgotten he was there.  
Kyoya readjusted his glasses, "Yes, the word obliterate has a negative connotation attached to it"  
King Tamaki jumped heroically to his feet, "Kyoya this is an emergency! We must save Haruhi and then the Country! Karu! Hikaru! Call the army"  
The twins saluted and looked ready to go but Kyoya held up a hand "You're highness... if we were to call in the army for this matter, then the whole army would find out about Haruhi's 'situation"  
Tamaki looked thunderstruck and dropped dramatically to the ground, he stared at it with wide eyes then clenched his fists in determination and stood up gallantly, "No! We won't let that stop us, not when Haruhi's life hangs in the balance!  
Kyoya pointed out that, no, it wasn't, but Tamaki was in his element, "We four will rescue her ourselves! No, we'll bring Sir Hunny and Sir Mori along to!" By this point he had somehow gotten on top of Kyoya's desk, "We'll save Haruhi"  
The twins cheered and Kyoya sat back in his chair to think, He'd need to see what he'd need to do to pull out some contacts in that area.

-  
Yes! We now have a plot! I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter to get up, but I had writers block (Or maybe I was just lazy, hard to tell sometimes)  
Anywho, I'll try to write more often!!! PS. Leave opinions!


	4. In the Queendom of Laubania

Haruhi was not really sure what was going on. She had been locked in this pink frilly room a few hours ago, and was beginning to worry. She looked out the window and realized she was in a considerably high tower. She took the sheets off the bed and tied them together, then examined her work. Nope, too short. She sighed. Not that that would have worked anyway. With her coordination she probably would have fallen the moment she left the window anyway.

She leaned out the window and looked down. Hum... it looked like she was up at least thirty stories...

The door slammed open and the queen's two assistants came in. Haruhi turned around in time to see the look of horror on their faces.

"My lady!" the blond one shouted. They ran forward so fast Haruhi fell partly out of the window. They each grabbed one of her arms, "Please don't do it!" the red head yelled as they pulled her back in the room.

Haruhi had no idea what they were talking about, and looked around at them confused as they lead her over to sit down on the bed, away from the window. The blond knelled down next to her and put her hands on her shoulders, "My lady, I understand that you have been mistreated in the past, but suicide is not the answer"

Huh? "But I wasn't-"

"Your safe now" the red said sternly, leaning in close.

Haruhi tried to protest, but no mater what she said she was cut off with reassurances from her "saviors".

The high pitched squeal from one of her female guards outside her door broke through the cycle of self-confidence talks. The attendants looked up sharply and took positions on either side of Haruhi lightning fast. Before she could parse out what was going on, the two where bowing to the figure in the doorway, "Good evening, Queen Benibara!"

The Queen was standing there regally. Haruhi could make out her guards swooning in the background. The Queen, however, paid them no mind. At that moment, she had eyes only for Haruhi... Which threw Haruhi off for a moment. A few of the girls in Ouran had looked at her like that before, but...

The Queen walked foreword and took up Haruhi's hands softly. She leaned in so close their noses where touching. "Good evening, fair maiden"

"Ah... good evening" Haruhi was kind of wanted to get some more space between them, but realized she was kind of trapped. The attendants closed her in on both sides and the bed she was sitting on was up against a wall. After a couple of seconds like that Haruhi tried gesturing with her eyes to her mail bag. "Um... I have a letter for you... From the kingdom of Ouran..." Benibara was holding onto her hands a little tighter now and maybe Haruhi was just imagining that the attendants where creeping in closer. Usually she didn't deliver letters in this fashion but if she didn't get this letter to them she had no doubt that Kyoya would arrange for some nasty work hours when she got back.

"We will talk of that later, for now, I believe you must be exhausted from your trip..." Behind the Queen, Haruhi could see the jealous guards absolutely melting. She was forcefully reminded of Tamaki.

"Um... well... not really... it was only a two hour ride and I've already been here for three days-"

Before she could finish the red haired attendant cut her off, "Your highness!" The queen looked up patiently, "I believe we should move Madam Haruhi to another location!"

The blond nodded in agreement, "I'm afraid I must second that suggestion" The Queen looked politely confused and the blond continued, "When we entered, we found the Madam..." She looked unable to decide how to say it gently and Benibara began to look worried. The red took a deep breath and said quickly, with her hands up in the air apologetically, "Well, we kind of found her jumping out the window!"

"What!?" Benibara stood up and at first looked, but suddenly switched to concern as she looked between them and Haruhi.

Haruhi put her own hands up in an attempt to calm her down, she wasn't entirely sure why this was such a big deal but, "Like I was saying, that's not-"

Queen Benibara suddenly was in her face again, and this time she was grasping Haruhi's shoulders painfully tight. Benibara looked her in the eyes deep serious, "Fair maiden, listen to me very closely. If you commit suicide, you're killing the wrong person"

Down below, in the market in the city, way out of the ear shoot of Haruhi, the newest rumor was spreading like wild fire.

"Have you heard?! It sounds as though our Queen has finally selected a Bride!"

"I'm so excited! But at the same time I'm so very jealous..."

"I know, I wish it where me!"

"But I hear it's an Ouran girl!"

"What!? That can't be true! The Queen hates those people!"

"Well, I've heard she's the reason we're finally mobilizing for war, it seems the Queen is quite serious about her"

One of the more thoughtful girls spoke up, "I don't know if I'd believe that. My cousin, who works in the castle, says that the girl doesn't seem to return the Queens feelings..."

Another girl, the one who said she was jealous earlier, seemed to get very angry by this, "I bet she's just toying with Queen Benibara's heart! You can never trust Ouran girls, they have lived among men for so long!"

"Now don't say that! She's the girl the queen choose!"

"Besides, they are simply oppressed women, you should feel sorrow for them, not hatred"

"I don't care- If she makes her majesty cry I'll never forgive her!"

The rumble of different opinions on the mater spread through out the city like wild fire. Six alone seemed more interested in hearing the rumors then adding their own opinions to them. The taller blond haired one in particular, doubled over crying when she heard it for the first time. (Unbeknownst to them, she was crying because her intelligent, black haired, glasses wearing friend had quickly and discreetly jabbed her in the stomach before her true reaction could come out). The red headed twins had mingled and where collecting information. And an attractive, reserved woman and her little blond cousin where attracting a slightly more reliable crowd simply by being. The six women where traveling together and kept eyeing the castle every few minutes. Trying to formulate a plan of entry.


End file.
